Civil wedding vows: the legal words, and the ones you choose
What a civil or courthouse ceremony legally requires, why there is no national script, the standard declaratory wording, and short personal vows that suit a small room.
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A civil ceremony is the shortest legal route to being married, and it is often assumed to be the least meaningful one. That assumption is wrong, and it usually comes from people who have never been to a good one.
What a civil ceremony gives you is clarity. A small number of words are required. Everything else is yours, and because there is so little of it, every sentence you add carries more weight than it would in a forty-minute service.
The short answer
In most United States jurisdictions the statute requires a declaration of intent but prescribes no particular words.
California Family Code section 420 is typical: no particular form of ceremony is required, but the parties must declare that they take each other as spouses.
There is no national civil ceremony script. Six counties in a single state publish five materially different ones, two of them word for word identical.
Personal vows are usually allowed alongside the required declaration, though many jurisdictions bar religious content from a civil ceremony.
A civil ceremony typically runs ten to twenty minutes including the signing. Sixty to ninety seconds of personal vows each is the right size.
What is legally required
The dominant statutory pattern in the United States requires a declaration of intent while prescribing no wording at all. California Family Code section 420 states that no particular form for the ceremony of marriage is required, but that the parties shall declare, in the physical presence of the person solemnizing the marriage and necessary witnesses, that they take each other as spouses. Nevada and New York follow the same pattern in their own words.
The legal minimum, then, is that the parties declare that they take each other, before an authorised officiant and the required witnesses. Even the noun is not settled: California and Nevada now read spouses, while New York's provision still reads that the parties must declare that they take each other as husband and wife. If a statute's own wording varies that much between three states, no general guide can tell you what your ceremony must contain.
Requirements beyond that are genuinely local: the number of witnesses, whether the ceremony must happen in an approved venue, and how quickly the licence must be returned. Ask the office issuing your licence rather than relying on any general guide.
This page describes the general shape of civil ceremonies and quotes statutes for illustration. It is not legal advice. Confirm every requirement with the authority issuing your marriage licence.
Why there is no standard civil script
Because the statutes prescribe a declaration rather than words, each jurisdiction fills the gap itself, and the results diverge more than most couples expect.
The Maryland judiciary publishes civil ceremony scripts county by county, which makes the divergence measurable. Compare six of them, all under one state judiciary, and you get five materially different ceremonies. Anne Arundel asks for your legal spouse and closes the vow with all the days of my life. Carroll and Harford are word for word identical to each other. Frederick is much longer, explicitly labels its Declaration of Intent, and adds a ring blessing and a formal presentation of the couple. Montgomery and Howard each add a call for impediments and a second, separate take thee declaration that the Anne Arundel script does not contain.
This is why the widely shared official San Francisco City Hall vows and the New York Marriage Bureau ceremony are worth treating with suspicion. Those texts circulate on photographers' blogs and wedding sites, not on any government page. If it matters to you, ask the clerk for their actual script.
The declaratory and contracting words
In jurisdictions that do prescribe wording, notably England and Wales, two sentences do the work. The declaratory words are a statement of no impediment. The contracting words are the ones that actually marry you.
The registrar will normally break both into short phrases for you to repeat, so there is no way to lose your place. Some jurisdictions offer a simpler question and answer instead: do you take this person to be your lawfully wedded spouse, answered I do.
If nerves are a concern, ask which options are available before the day. This is a routine question and the answer will be immediate.
Why short vows work better here
A registry room holds a handful of people at close range, often in a space designed for administration rather than ceremony. That intimacy rewards restraint. A four-minute vow that would land in a garden becomes an oddly long silence when the person opposite you is eighteen inches away.
Sixty to ninety seconds each is the range that fits, which is 130 to 200 words. Enough for one specific memory, two promises, and a closing line, which is the whole architecture of a good vow anyway.
The lack of ceremony around your words is an advantage. There is no music swelling underneath and no readings to compete with. Whatever you say is the entire emotional content of the ceremony, and everyone in the room knows it.
Restrictions to check before you write
Religious content is the most common restriction. Civil ceremonies in many jurisdictions must be free of religious references, which can include hymns, prayers, scripture, and sometimes even the word God in a personal vow. Registrars often ask to see personal vows in advance for exactly this reason.
Length is occasionally restricted too, especially in busy offices with ceremonies booked at half-hour intervals. Ask what your slot is.
Music, photography, confetti, and guest numbers are venue rules rather than legal ones, and they vary widely. Get them in writing rather than by phone.
Making a small ceremony feel like an occasion
A few decisions do most of the work. Arrive early enough not to be flustered. Bring one or two people whose faces you want to see. Have the vows on a card rather than a phone, so the photographs do not have a glowing rectangle in them.
Consider a second, larger celebration later with a blessing or a reading, where the guests who could not fit in the room get their own version of the day. Many couples now do this deliberately rather than as a compromise.
And take the ten minutes afterwards. Go somewhere and sit down together before anyone else claims you. In a twelve-minute ceremony, that afterwards is the part you will remember.
Full wordings you can use
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The declaratory words
The statement of no legal impediment, in the English and Welsh statutory form. Wording varies by jurisdiction.
Spoken by each partner
I do solemnly declare that I know of no lawful impediment why I, [name], may not be joined in matrimony to [name].
about 12 seconds spoken22 words
The contracting words
The sentence that legally effects the marriage where prescribed wording is used.
Spoken by each partner
I call upon these persons here present to witness that I, [name], do take you, [name], to be my lawful wedded wife.
about 12 seconds spoken22 words
Many United States jurisdictions require only that you declare you take each other as spouses, with no prescribed sentence. Ask your officiant which wording applies.
A ninety-second personal vow for a registry ceremony
One memory, two promises, one closing line. About 150 words.
Spoken by each partner
[Name], five years ago you drove four hours to sit in a hospital corridor with me and said almost nothing the entire time. That is when I knew. Not a speech, not a grand gesture, just you in a plastic chair at two in the morning refusing to leave. So here is what I am promising, in front of these two people and a registrar. I promise to be the one in the corridor. I promise to tell you the true thing even when the comfortable thing is right there. I promise to keep making you laugh in rooms where we are supposed to be serious, including this one. And I promise that whatever the next fifty years bring, you will not face any of it on your own. I love you. Let us go and be married.
about 66 seconds spoken138 words
A very short personal vow
Around fifty words, for couples who want almost nothing added to the legal wording.
Spoken by each partner
[Name], I am not going to say much, because we both know I would not get through it. I choose you. I will keep choosing you on the ordinary days and the hard ones. That is the whole promise, and I mean every word of it.
about 23 seconds spoken46 words
Examples to adapt
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Provenance: these are synthetic teaching examples written for illustration, not customer submissions or a real couple’s transcript. Replace generic lines with facts you can confirm.
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FAQs
What do you say at a civil wedding ceremony?
In most United States jurisdictions you must declare that you take each other as spouses, but no particular words are prescribed. Where wording is prescribed, it is usually a declaration of no impediment followed by contracting words. Personal vows can normally be added around the required declaration.
Is there an official civil wedding ceremony script?
No national one. Scripts are set locally, and they vary considerably. The Maryland judiciary publishes county-by-county scripts, and even within that single state several counties use materially different wording. Ask your clerk or registrar for the script they use.
Can you write your own vows for a civil ceremony?
In most places yes, in addition to the legally required declaration rather than instead of it. Many registrars ask to see personal vows in advance, partly to check length and partly because religious content is often not permitted in a civil ceremony.
How long is a civil wedding ceremony?
Typically ten to twenty minutes including the signing of the register. Some offices book slots at half-hour intervals, so ask how much time you have before planning readings or long vows.
Can you mention God in civil wedding vows?
Often not. Civil ceremonies in many jurisdictions must be free of religious content, which can extend to prayers, scripture, hymns, and religious references in personal vows. Ask your registrar, because the rule and how strictly it is applied both vary.
How many witnesses does a civil wedding need?
Commonly two, though the number is set locally and some jurisdictions require only one or none. Confirm with the office issuing your licence, and check whether there is a minimum age for a witness.
How long should courthouse wedding vows be?
Sixty to ninety seconds each, or roughly 130 to 200 words. A registry room is small and close, and a long vow feels much longer there than it does in an outdoor ceremony.
Where this wording comes from
Liturgical and legal wording is quoted from the published texts below. Local practice still varies, so confirm with your officiant.
California Family Code section 420No particular form of ceremony is required, but the parties must declare that they take each other as spouses.
New York Domestic Relations Law section 12The same declaration-without-prescribed-wording pattern, but New York's text still reads husband and wife rather than spouses.
Nevada Revised Statutes 122.110No particular form required; the parties declare that they take each other as spouses, with at least one witness present.
