Christian wedding vows: the traditional wording and what it means
Traditional Christian wedding vows quoted in full from the prayer book sources, how the denominations differ, and how to add personal promises without losing the form.
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Almost every Christian wedding vow spoken in English descends from one book. The Book of Common Prayer, first published in 1549 and revised into its enduring form in 1662, gave the language its most quoted sentence: to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health.
Denominations have edited that sentence for four centuries. What follows is the wording itself, quoted from the published texts, what each clause is actually promising, and exactly where your own words are welcome. Where the denominations genuinely diverge, this page says so rather than flattening them into one generic version.
The short answer
The traditional wording is: I take thee to my wedded wife or husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part.
Modern services replace thee and thou with you. The 1928 American prayer book removed obey entirely; Common Worship keeps it only as an explicit opt-in.
Most Protestant churches allow personal vows in addition to the traditional ones, not instead of them. Ask your minister before you write anything.
The vow itself is short, around forty words, about twenty seconds spoken slowly. Everything else in a church wedding is framing around it.
The pattern that works: speak the traditional sentence, pause, then add two or three promises only you could make.
Where the wording came from
Thomas Cranmer compiled the first Book of Common Prayer in 1549, drawing on older medieval English marriage rites. The 1662 revision fixed the wording most people still recognise, and because it long predates modern copyright, that text is free to quote, print, and adapt.
The history explains the vow's strange, beautiful rhythm. The pairs, better and worse, richer and poorer, sickness and health, are a legal device as much as a poetic one. They close the escape routes by naming them out loud.
It also explains the archaic words. Troth means faithfulness or a pledged word, related to truth. In the 1662 text the man plights his troth and the woman gives hers, a distinction almost every modern version quietly drops along with the pronouns.
What each clause is actually promising
Read as a list rather than a poem, the traditional vow makes a series of distinct promises. It helps to know which one you are making as you say it.
To have and to hold from this day forward: the promise starts now, not once life settles down.
For better for worse: the marriage does not depend on the outcome. Both outcomes are covered.
For richer for poorer: money will change, in both directions, and the promise does not track it.
In sickness and in health: the vow anticipates a body that fails. This is the clause people most often say they only understood later.
To love and to cherish: love as a chosen action, and cherish as the daily version of it.
Till death us do part: an end date is named, and it is the only one.
How the denominations differ
The differences are real, specific, and worth knowing before you assume your ceremony uses the version you have in your head.
The 1979 American Book of Common Prayer opens with In the Name of God and closes with This is my solemn vow, and it asks the congregation a question of its own: will all of you witnessing these promises do all in your power to uphold these two persons in their marriage. The answer is We will, and it is one of the most affecting moments in the rite.
United Methodist services use essentially the 1979 wording, and offer alternates including to give and to receive, to speak and to listen, to inspire and to respond. Lutheran services in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America explicitly permit variation, with a rubric reading in these or similar words. Missouri Synod services keep symmetrical vows but ask an asymmetric declaration of intent drawn from Ephesians 5. Presbyterian wording in the Book of Common Worship opens with the striking line, N., you are my beloved.
Baptist churches have no authoritative wedding liturgy at all. No Baptist body publishes a binding rite, because marriage is understood as a covenant rather than a sacrament, so the wording is set by the individual pastor or the couple. Anyone presenting a fixed text as the Baptist vows is describing one congregation, not a denomination.
Wording varies by denomination, by congregation, and sometimes by the individual minister. Treat this page as a guide to the published traditional forms and confirm your ceremony's exact wording with whoever is officiating.
Does anyone still promise to obey?
Rarely, and the history is more specific than the arguments about it usually allow. In the 1662 text obey appears twice, in the woman's vow and in the question put to her beforehand. The 1928 American prayer book removed it from both and made the vows symmetrical.
Common Worship, the Church of England's modern service, is the interesting case: obey survives, but only as an explicit option the couple must choose, with a rubric noting that the word may be omitted. It is opt-in rather than default.
If you feel strongly either way, say so during planning. Ministers are used to the question, and it is much easier to settle in an office than at a rehearsal.
Where scripture fits, and where it does not
Scripture usually appears as a reading, not as a vow. First Corinthians 13, Ecclesiastes 4, Ruth 1, and Colossians 3 are the most commonly chosen, typically read by a friend or family member before the vows rather than spoken as part of them.
Couples sometimes want to build a promise out of a verse. That works when the verse does something a promise can do, and fails when it describes rather than commits. Love is patient, love is kind is a description. I promise to be patient with you on the days you are hardest to be patient with is a promise.
If you want a verse inside your own vow, quote one line and then say what you will do about it. The verse gives the sentence weight; your sentence gives it a subject.
Adding personal promises without breaking the form
Most ministers who allow personal vows expect them alongside the traditional ones rather than in place of them. That is a gift rather than a restriction: the traditional sentence does the heavy structural work and frees your own words to be specific.
Keep the personal section under a minute. It will feel longer in the room than it does on the page, and church acoustics punish speed.
Write the personal part in the same register as the traditional part. A vow that swings from till death us do part to an inside joke in one breath makes the room laugh and then wonder what it just heard.
How long a Christian wedding vow should be
The traditional vow alone is about forty words and twenty seconds. With personal promises added, aim for 120 to 200 words each, roughly a minute to ninety seconds.
Church ceremonies usually run thirty to sixty minutes including readings, a homily, music, and often communion. The vows are a small part of that by design. Long personal vows inside a long service test the room in a way they do not at a fifteen-minute outdoor ceremony.
Read yours aloud in the actual building if you can. Stone churches have a reverberation delay that makes fast speech unintelligible, and nerves make almost everyone read faster than they rehearsed.
Full wordings you can use
Read the complete text, copy it, or take it into the private writer and make it yours.
The traditional vow, 1662 wording
The Book of Common Prayer text. Out of copyright, and the source most later versions edit.
The man
I, [name], take thee, [name], to my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.
The woman
I, [name], take thee, [name], to my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth.
about 51 seconds spoken107 words
The asymmetry is in the original: the man plights his troth and the woman gives hers, and only the woman promises to obey. Modern services almost always use identical wording for both partners and omit obey.
The 1979 American prayer book vow
Symmetrical, modern English, and the basis of the Methodist and several other Protestant forms.
Spoken by each partner
In the Name of God, I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.
about 26 seconds spoken52 words
The question put to the congregation
From the 1979 rite. Often the moment guests remember, because it gives them something to do.
Celebrant
Will all of you witnessing these promises do all in your power to uphold these two persons in their marriage?
People
We will.
about 11 seconds spoken22 words
Traditional vow with two personal promises
The pattern most ministers approve: the fixed wording first, then your own words.
Spoken by each partner
I, [name], take you, [name], to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death.
Personal promises
And because I was given you and not somebody easier, I promise to keep choosing you on the days that ask something of me. I promise to pray with you before I argue with you, to tell you the true thing rather than the comfortable one, and to build a home where anyone who walks in can tell that we like each other.
about 51 seconds spoken105 words
A short faith-centered vow
Around sixty words, for couples who want something brief and can say it steadily.
Spoken by each partner
With God as my witness, I take you as my wife. I promise to love you when it is easy and to love you on purpose when it is not. I will be honest with you, patient with you, and faithful to you. What is joined here, I will spend my life protecting. This is my vow.
about 28 seconds spoken57 words
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FAQs
What are the traditional Christian wedding vows?
I take thee to my wedded wife or husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part. That sentence comes from the Book of Common Prayer and is the basis of nearly every Christian vow used in English.
Can Christians write their own wedding vows?
In most Protestant and non-denominational churches yes, though usually in addition to the traditional wording rather than instead of it. Ask your minister early, because some congregations set the vow text and some ask to read personal vows in advance.
Do Christian wedding vows still include obey?
Rarely. The 1662 text had the wife promise to obey; the 1928 American prayer book removed it and made the vows symmetrical. In the Church of England's Common Worship it survives only as an option the couple must actively choose.
What are the Baptist wedding vows?
There is no official set. No Baptist body publishes a binding wedding liturgy, because marriage is treated as a covenant rather than a sacrament, so the wording is decided by the individual pastor and couple. Anyone quoting the Baptist vows is describing one church's practice.
What Bible verses are used in wedding vows?
First Corinthians 13, Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, Ruth 1:16-17, Colossians 3:12-14, and Song of Songs are the most commonly read, usually as readings before the vows rather than inside them. See the biblical wedding vows guide for how to turn a verse into an actual promise.
How long should Christian wedding vows be?
The traditional vow alone is about forty words and twenty seconds. With personal promises added, 120 to 200 words each is the comfortable range, roughly a minute to ninety seconds spoken slowly.
Are Christian and Catholic wedding vows the same?
They share ancestry but not text. Catholic ceremonies use the consent formulas set by the Order of Celebrating Matrimony and cannot substitute personal vows. Protestant services use variants of the prayer book wording and are usually more flexible.
What does plight thee my troth mean?
Troth is an old English word for faithfulness or a pledged word, related to truth. To plight your troth is to pledge your faithfulness. Modern services translate the phrase into something like this is my solemn vow.
Where this wording comes from
Liturgical and legal wording is quoted from the published texts below. Local practice still varies, so confirm with your officiant.
